Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Snooze Button

Damn snooze button felt so good this morning that I didn't go to the gym. Which means I will make myself suffer by going this afternoon. It is my own fault, I take full responsibility, and I'm not allowing myself to skip as a result even though I really want to go home and relax. So, I'll be sweating my butt off here in a little bit. Anyone else?

Update: I locked my keys in my truck this morning. I still haven't gone to the gym, and now I'm so craving Chinese since I eat my emotions so well. It seems like the only thing that can make me feel better after being at work for 2.5 hours longer than necessary, and STILL not having a ride.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Only 2 Thanksgiving meals left

I'm half way there. I didn't do well with the second Thanksgiving meal. It wasn't actually the meal itself as much as cooking all day long. I ended up being full before we even ate the meal. But I still ate, OF COURSE. I don't know why I do that. I ate so much I got the hiccups. It was ridiculous. I also drank quite a bit, so when I weigh in next, it may be scary. My next weigh in will probably be Monday though since I'll be doing the gym in the morning tomorrow and then it will be closed Thursday.

All in all, I'm still hangin in there. I'm not giving it 100%, more like 75%, and that needs to change. I am back on track fully today, but I fear when I am on the road this week, I'll be back in the half-assed mode. I think my attitude is all wrong. I should just KNOW that I will do well on the road. I have two days to get that way. My dilemma is that I like big portions, which I can eat at home because I cook my stuff much lower calorie. So, I start to feel deprived on the road when I eat less to compensate for the higher calorie value (example, my dad always cooks the eggs in so much butter I could fall over, that would never happen at my house, I use spray for Pete's sake. I know his taste better, but sheesh.) Anyway, that is the dilemma, so what is the solution to still feeling satisfied with smaller portions?

Friday, November 21, 2008


Today has been an extremely good eating day. I have been eating a lot of soup, and that really helps keep the calories down. I finally went back to the gym this morning, and it felt GREAT. I'm so glad to go back. I'm going to be on the road for the weekend though, and so I need to figure out a way to get in some exercise those days without having to run in the cold. (I'm a bonafide wuss!)

I started my new meds today, so crossing my fingers. I feel kind of woozy on them, but hopefully that will improve in a couple days. I may have to start taking half a pill twice a day. I'm keeping my hopes up. One of these times I'll have to stumble across a something to help kick these migraines.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. We are doing a Thanksgiving Extravaganza, but I am going to be around a lot of positive people who will make it easy to stay on track and not overdo third Thanksgiving celebration, and I have two more to go. I wish I didn't like pie so much. Pecan pie and pumpkin dessert are the devil this week. I think I'll pretend they are made from something nasty. Pumpkin looks like baby poop and pecans are dried up puke balls or something. Maybe it will work, or maybe I'll enjoy dessert. We'll just have to see!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Forced onto the scale

Duh, how could I forget that I would have to weight at the doctor's office? I was mortified when I realized it on the way to the appointment. Shit, I've been thinking I'd have a week to deal with any gains I had before I had to see what the scale showed. Crap, this is going to be very bad.

It wasn't bad at all. I was up half a pound. Sigh of relief. I've been logging calories religiously this week, so that probably saved me, but I know I need to keep it up if I am going to continue succeeding. I'm really excited to go visit my friend this weekend, we are having like a girl's only weekend, throwing a Thanksgiving Extravaganza, and then I am going shopping all day Monday with my Mom, a real dose of relaxation. CAN'T WAIT!

In other news, trying a different medication AGAIN, for the four millionth time. This one should make me less tired and less hungry. It doesn't suppress the appetite, but it shouldn't encourage it either. Phew. I asked about going to a migraine specialist and my doctor kind of flipped out slightly. I think if this new medication doesn't work, I'm going to switch doctors again. I asked him what could be causing the migraines, and he said, there is no cause, you just get them. I felt really uncomfortable at that point. Then he told me if I would go workout I'd feel better. Um HELLO?, I work out everyday (except less this week as mentioned yesterday). So, I felt really stupid and left dumbfounded. Such is life I guess. Hopefully the new meds will work and I can move on!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Good afternoon

Hooray, no Chinese today. I have been on track all day. I have eaten a little extra chocolate, but i have logged it into my journal, and will just cut back on supper tonight.

I haven't worked out once this week. It feels so weird not going to the gym. The crazy thing is, I don't feel guilty, but I do feel yuckier when I'm not working out. This has mostly been because instead of going to the gym after work, I've been going hunting, which requires some walking, but not enough to constitute my daily exercise. Will definitely have to get right back into the exercise mode as soon as season is over.

In other news, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. A follow-up to see if my new meds are working (they're not). Hopefully I can get him to refer me to a head specialist. I'm so tired of playing the medication game. Let's fix the problem, not treat the symptoms. I'm hopeful that this will be a good step if he'll go for it...

That's all for now, eat a little less, move a little more. Hooray for an easy theory on weight loss.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Miserably full that is...oh crap, I had Chinese for lunch today. Fried Cream Cheese. Enough said.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Monday, Monday, la laaa la la laaa

It is Monday, again. When will I learn that the weekends are never long enough. I doubt I ever will. I gave myself the entire weekend to eat whatever I wanted, hoping that would help me to not feel so deprived coming into this week. It seems to have done this trick. Granted, by saying I could eat whatever I wanted, it wasn't like I relapsed to 250 lb eating. I cannot eat that much anymore without becoming miserable. I still ate past the point of comfortable twice this weekend, but I have not felt the unsatiable hunger today that I did the last two weeks.

On the nice side of things, I probably won't be weighing in this week as I will be out deer hunting in the afternoons. Hopefully you all won't think I'm a terrible person for that, but we eat all the meat, so it is not like I'm out killing something for fun. And, if you do think I'm a bad person, well I guess that gives you the power to quit reading my blog. Hooray for freedom of expression, and really cheap, lean meat. As far as not having to weigh in this week, it means I can possibily get my weight back down before I realize how much damage I actually did. And I won't be beating myself up mentally.

Okay, so now that I sound like a total redneck, have a great week everyone!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Starving, since 1982

I cannot keep my damn hands out of any food at all. For Pete's sake. My need to eat has been ridiculous. I'm already back up over my 189 mark, cue the violin. I have been drinking so much water my eyeballs are floating. I'm just not sure what to do. I feel so out of control when my mind (because it cannot be my stomach) tells me I'm starving, famished, and I just got done eating my whole meal. Sorry for the vent, but it seems like so much work to be busting my ass at the gym and then eating like a mad lady later. For once, I would like the appetite to just go away. Stupid taste buds anyway.

Otherwise, I have had a great week of workouts. I am still sore from my Tuesday workout, which seems next to impossible. It didn't seem that bad when I was doing it, but I'm glad it was so good. The trainer and I took it easy on Wednesday to try and heal up, but since I was still sore this morning, I think she just let me have it anyway (which was good, I have to burn those extra intake calories somehow).

Guess I'm just grumpy. I bet that goes away in a few hours when I leave work! Have a great weekend everyone. (PS-Here's a shout out to Jen, glad you are stopping by, I miss our regular convos, but I'm glad you are still around!)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sore a$$

Wowzers, my trainer kicked my butt this week, literally. I can barely get in and out of my seat. She called me her guinea pig. It worked, I really got a good workout. Phew. Unfortunately, my eating has been less than desirable.

I went off of my migraine meds, which had too many side effects for my personal enjoyment, and ever since then, I have been sooo hungry. Blasted things. I liked them when they suppressed my appetite, so I shouldn't complain. I just have to retrain my body and mind. I'm trying yet another medication, we'll see how it goes. Blah. I hate side effects, I hate drugs. Why do doctors refuse to look at cause and only look at treatment? It is so irritating.

I do not really have anything enlightening to say, which is kind of a bummer. I have really enjoyed having a four day weekend, now it is back to the daily grind. Can't say I wouldn't mind long weekends every week. I should post more, but my mind must still be on vacation.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Hmmm, what to post

Ever run out of things to say? Life has been so busy, it seems I haven't had much time to post lately. I have been on the road A LOT for work. I think I'm finally done with that, but I'm taking off Monday, and Tuesday is a holiday, so I get a four day weekend. Hooray. I've been good with workouts, but eating has been really off since I have been on the road with my boss. He eats terrible, which makes it really difficult for me. It is really hard to find something healthy to eat when you go to ridiculously delicious places, like Steak n Shake, yummm.

Okay, moving along, so hopefully this weekend I can get back on track so I don't lose my fifty pound milestone for the second time this year. I don't want to back track again. It is so not worth it.

In other news, I'm still on the quest for the perfect "active job." I don't think I can wait another two years or so to go to college to wait this one out. I've been considering the police academy, but I have to come up with close to $4,000 to accomplish that...I refuse to take out a loan since I'm on the Dave Ramsey plan. Guess I'll really start saving, either way, even if I don't do it, that would give me the means for some kind of education.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Wow, my creative is not flowing today, so this post may be relatively boring.

For those on the edges of their seats waiting to hear...Yes, I did make the 189 by Halloween goal. 188.8 was the official weigh in. So that makes the official 50 Pound Weight Loss mark. Hooray. I should act more excited, but it was on Friday, so the excitement has worn off for me a little. I need to stay out of leftover Halloween candy if I want that number to stick around!

Had a great personal training session today. We did a lot with bands. Something I'm not familiar with. I own bands, but I didn't know all the different moves you could do with them. Very exciting. I won't be posting Wed or Thurs as I will be on the road for work (story of my life the last couple weeks, reason for my slow posting habits).

Nothing else very exciting to post. I will brag about one nice perk I receive living in a rural area. I walked into my polling location today. I was the only voter. The only one, no line at all. I walked in, cast my vote. I was voter number 187. That was at noon. My, how I love rural America. No hour long wait to vote for this gal...happy election day America.