So I want to write to all of you today, and I want to read all of your blogs, but the truth is I can't. I don't have time. Life is so crazy, and I have to prioritize right now. I hope you all can just remember that I AM a faithful commenter when I have internet access, but today I HAVE TO WORK. I've been trying to get through professional emails for the last 1.5 hours. I feel so irresponsible making colleagues wait two weeks for responses, but that is how often I get online.
I just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive. I'm leading my class academically. I'm finally back down to my lowest weight ever 188. (which is my 51 pound lost number). I've held it for over a week, so I'm confident that I can continue to go down.
Physical Training has been challenging me mentally. There is no such things as positive reinforcement, they keep telling you how much you suck. I try to go somewhere else mentally (I pretend Jillian is yelling at me or something). I'm too nice for the defensive tactics class. I have a tendency to say...get down on the ground please. Sounds tough right? No, so I'm trying to drop my manners with the bad guys. It has been fun throwing people on the ground though. I guess I'm mentally at a place where they can make me or break me. I'm standing my ground though b/c I realize this is all mental. They want to weed out the weak. Fuck them, I'm not going anywhere.
Hope you all are doing well. I miss you all! Hugs and hopefully you all don't forget about me!
6 months ago