Coming Back

If anyone out there is actually following in any way shape or form, I FINALLY have internet access regularly again, SOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

I guess that means I'm back.

I have graduated and found a job, and for obvious reasons, I can't say where, but I'm really enjoying this new part of my life.

To throw out where I'm at on this journey, I'm back at pre-academy weight of 189.0. I have been slacking on the gym since I'm working 12 hour nights right now and it makes it very hard for me to get used to a sleep schedule, and my diet has been way less than spectacular, mostly my fault, but also partially to blame on the night shift.

I'm going to do a New Year's Challenge at my gym, which is a total motivator. The downfall is that it doesn't start until Jan 11th or something like that, and so it makes it hard to get motivated before the "official weigh-in."

I know that is corny, but the more weight you lose, the better chances of great prizes, how messed up are those priorities!!!!

Hope you all are doing well. I have to go catch up on your posts now!

Graduated!

Hey everyone! I finally graduated. Hooray. I don't have a lot to post right now, I'm busy trying to learn how to tweet today. I'm such a nerd. Thanks for inviting me Shanna!

I'll put pictures up sometime next week, and type a weight loss update. Right now I just wanted to thank everyone for their support. Let me know if you tweet so I can add you. I'm such a nerd!

3 Weeks Left

Is it possible? Only three weeks left? I don't have a job yet, which is super scary, but I'm not allowing myself to panic yet.

I have so much I want to gush about, but most of it is not great news on the diet front. I have slacked a bit since out PT has been done, and my eating has been OUT OF CONTROL. I updated my ticker today, but I'm not sure if it is right or not.

The good news is, I'm heading to the gym in about a half hour, and I'm uber pumped about it. I will begin my daily weigh ins again tomorrow. I cannot believe I let myself quit caring. I don't mind not tracking my weight, but I have been out of control on letting myself slip. I am more concerned about my health and well being and future job now than looking great, but truth is, looking great is an added bonus.

Hopefully I'll be able to post more regularly when life slows down a bit. I miss everyone so much. Have a great day everyone. Feels good to vent this to you all, I feel like I can have a fresh start this afternoon now that I have cleared my slate.

TASER, TASER

Almost Done

HEY EVERYONE! I appologize for the extreme absense. I cannot say that it is going to get much better for a few weeks at least. I only have five weeks of the academy left and I'm sooooo excited. I'm still gainfully unemployed though and that is a bummer.

I have totally loved my experience, and I want to thank all of you who helped push me to make this decision. I have never had so much fun in my life.

My workouts were very regular until about two weeks ago, and I have dropped about ten more pounds putting me in the 179ish area. I have been fluctuating, but that is pretty close for now. I have been bad on food and workouts for about two weeks, so I need to quit being lax and get back in the groove.

My last day of PT is this coming Wednesday, so I need to get focused and on track to avoid slipping backwards. Shouldn't be too bad.

I have taser video I'll try and download this morning. I sound like I have turret's syndrome in it. I hope you don't think less of me when you watch it, I assure you that I don't normally talk like that, and it was completely involuntary.

Thanks everyone for checking on me. I really appreciate all of your support!

1/3 of the way there

I've finished 8 weeks of the academy. That is one-third of the way. I can definitely feel the effects mentally and physically of everything they have put us through this far, and it seems to only get harder. I know it is all for a good reason though, and I'm staying positive. It has been a wild ride, that is for sure!

Weight Loss: I updated my stats today. 185 (although the scales reads lower some days, I think this is probably most accurate). I haven't really established a goal weight, which is hard for me mentally right now. I haven't been thinking about weight loss a lot lately. I'm still doing the challenge at my gym, so I figure that I should probably think about it more. My true downfall is the food. I'm getting PLENTY of exercise, but my calories are almost always over 2,100 a day. I really need to aim for about 1800 with my level of activity to see good loss in my opinion, so that is for me to work on (but not today, I have a birthday party, yum cake). Although, I gave up chocolate and candy for lent, so it will be my luck that the cake will be chocolate, I may save the calories without even trying!

**I have to tell you all that I did NOT test out on my first physical test try, I was devastated. I only did 18 pushups then I was DQ'd for putting my foot in the wrong position. I also missed my 300 meter dash by 1 second. BUT I did score a good score on my mile and a half, and got third highest in my class for doing 60 situps in two minutes...that felt good.

I wish I could post more often, but it seems to be tough to get time. I like to read everyone's blogs before I get on an post something, but I was lucky to get that done today! Hope you are all staying positive. I will be thinking as positively as possible as I do push-ups for you all, hoping not to get DQ'd again!

finally

Well, I think you are all aware at this point that my time online is always limited, so checking in on all of you (and myself) has been hard! I do have a couple minutes to write you all a good post though.

Weight loss: I have had some since I started the academy. I haven't been on the scale this week, so I cannot tell you how much exactly. I know I'm at or below pre-Christmas weight, which is thrilling to me because it was the 50 lb mark, I hated yo-yoing on that line. Exercise has been good, not that I have a choice at this point, but eating has been not so good. That saying about how poor people make worse food choices because that is what is cheapest seems to be ringing true in my life. When you get to a electric OR water, phone OR insurance point in your life, which do you pay first? Food becomes the LAST thing in the budget, which means we are eating as much free stuff as possible. Free stuff is bad carb, sugary JUNK. I'm doing my best to stay smart, but if I want to eat, I may not have a choice. Not a sob story, just how it is...

The academy is going well. Academically I am doing fine, physically, I thought I would perform better than I am, but I'm not doing terrible. The fighting/defensive portion is hardest for me. I am not hands on, I don't fight (they had to teach me to punch this week, really)...I always add an extra please when giving demands, please get down on the ground doesn't sound very authoritative. So that has been the biggest struggle. BUT, I'm five weeks down 18 to go, so that is almost 1/4 of the way through.

Thanks for all of your warm thoughts and wishes. I miss you all. I'll try to post a picture of my new hair cut. It is so short because it had to be off the collar. I got really tired of the bun. We had to run stairs the other day with a sandbag over our shoulders, every time I got it around my neck, my ponytail would get caught under the sandbag, making it very hard to look down. I chopped my hair off THAT NIGHT. It is cute, but short! Keep your head up everyone. I'll do the same!

Holy Crap I miss you all

Hey everyone. I'm still alive, and still running. These people are kicking my butt. I am totally missing you all and hope to put a real post down this weekend! I'll try to check in then too! Will run for you!

life is so crazy

So I want to write to all of you today, and I want to read all of your blogs, but the truth is I can't. I don't have time. Life is so crazy, and I have to prioritize right now. I hope you all can just remember that I AM a faithful commenter when I have internet access, but today I HAVE TO WORK. I've been trying to get through professional emails for the last 1.5 hours. I feel so irresponsible making colleagues wait two weeks for responses, but that is how often I get online.

I just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive. I'm leading my class academically. I'm finally back down to my lowest weight ever 188. (which is my 51 pound lost number). I've held it for over a week, so I'm confident that I can continue to go down.

Physical Training has been challenging me mentally. There is no such things as positive reinforcement, they keep telling you how much you suck. I try to go somewhere else mentally (I pretend Jillian is yelling at me or something). I'm too nice for the defensive tactics class. I have a tendency to say...get down on the ground please. Sounds tough right? No, so I'm trying to drop my manners with the bad guys. It has been fun throwing people on the ground though. I guess I'm mentally at a place where they can make me or break me. I'm standing my ground though b/c I realize this is all mental. They want to weed out the weak. Fuck them, I'm not going anywhere.

Hope you all are doing well. I miss you all! Hugs and hopefully you all don't forget about me!

irony

I find it ironic that I'm eating doritos as I type this out. When will I learn? 1.5 hours at the gym today so I can eat doritos? I'm a dumbass.

Can't type long, I'm just trying to get some work done today, I'm lucky to even have internet here, but I had to put a picture on here so you could all see a dead cockroach, or the position I will hold for 2 hours give or take along with the push up position on Wednesday. Fun huh? The great part is, the cockroaches are the more relaxing position of all that we do. Guess that is why I decided to do this, push and challenge myself. It isn't so bad, it will get better, it always does! Now I just need to put the damn doritos down. But I'm not going to, not today, it's 150 calories of amazing goodness that I will sweat off tomorrow. Miss you all tons!

1 down, 22 to go

WEEK 1 is over!

It was probably the easiest week we will have. We don't actually start PT until Wednesday. We had a "sample" of what it is going to be like last week though, and all I can say is damn I'm sore. I want them to beat the crap out of me, I guess that is what I'm going to get.

I want to leave tough, I guess that is what I'm going to get. I'm really excited to start learning the defensive tactics too, but also very nervous. I'm a very non-confrontational person. Beating other people up? I've never even been in a fight. Ekkks.

Anyway, I know everyone is dying to know how the first week went, so I just wanted to write a quick note, I'm going to try and stop by a few of your blogs, but it is just a super busy time, maybe Monday I'll have Internet access for a while longer? I'm dying to know if Shanna has moved yet, how Sara's play is going, if FB got her job, if Andrea is still Zumbaing, if Thinking Too Thin is still giddy with A...all sorts of stuff I need to check in on...btw, if you didn't see your name, it doesn't mean I'm not excited about some of your stuff still...if tony likes isu yet, if the other tony is in onerderland yet, if mizfit decided to give me any cool prizes, wait, I guess you have to comment to get on that list, if PQ is still having a headache...ahhh, I read too many damn blogs!

Later folks. I'll do an extra pushup or dead cockroach for you all!

Chance to check in

Hooray, I really wanted to say hello to every. HI

Today is my last day of work. I have been training the new girl all week, so it has been hard to get on the internet, geesh. Anyway, she had a meeting today, so I'm on my own for my last day. I really do have a lot to get done, but this was feeling like top priority for me.

I have been completely out of whack with my calories this week. It has been a week of big meals. Tuesday I had my last transportation meeting, and we had a huge meal. Wednesday I was on the road for my last Solid Waste meeting, and so we ate out all three meals, it was such a long day. Yesterday I just continued to suck it up, and today I have a going away party, with dessert in my honor. I'm not making excuses for my calories being out of whack, that was ALL MY CHOICE. I am just ready for Monday. I think my nerves are starting to get the best of me. I'm excited, but nervous about the whole unemployment thing.

I also haven't been to the gym since Monday. I will be spending time there for the next three days for sure! Well, I cannot remember EVERYTHING I really wanted to talk about, so I'm going to get off of here. Hope to check in soon. I sure do miss being on everyday! Have a great weekend everyone.

Will I be here?

I'm training this week, so it isn't exactly easy to check in here in blogger's paradise. I miss you all already!

I'm Back

I can feel how much better I feel now that December is over. I feel like myself again. So, in association with the new year, I'm officially going to start weighing in during morning hours. This is a huge change for me, and one I've really resisted, but it seems only logical since I've changed my gym habits to morning time (for now at least). So today I was at 194 (probably 196 night time scale, but hey, I'm not freaking or worrying about it). I need to weigh in daily for my own sanity, and this is the best way for me to be consistent.

194 is a nice round number to start at for me. It is my 45 lb mark. So, 5 more to get back to my first goal. I weighed in for the New Year's Challenge at my gym this morning, so that is my starting weight for that. The top prize is a six month membership to the gym, and now that I'm a poor college student again, I need that prize. It would be awarded right after mine expires (literally a couple days), so how perfect is that...it gives me something to focus on when I think I need a cookie after dinner. Other prizes include iPods, free PT, free massages, etc.

I'm holding my hopes high on the 6 month membership. It feels good to be back on plan. Even my PT this morning said she feels like she was working with the old me. I have not been as into it the last month, but this morning, she experimented with me when we were boxing (my fav workout), and I had a blast. I feel great again. 2009 is going to rock!