life is so crazy

So I want to write to all of you today, and I want to read all of your blogs, but the truth is I can't. I don't have time. Life is so crazy, and I have to prioritize right now. I hope you all can just remember that I AM a faithful commenter when I have internet access, but today I HAVE TO WORK. I've been trying to get through professional emails for the last 1.5 hours. I feel so irresponsible making colleagues wait two weeks for responses, but that is how often I get online.

I just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive. I'm leading my class academically. I'm finally back down to my lowest weight ever 188. (which is my 51 pound lost number). I've held it for over a week, so I'm confident that I can continue to go down.

Physical Training has been challenging me mentally. There is no such things as positive reinforcement, they keep telling you how much you suck. I try to go somewhere else mentally (I pretend Jillian is yelling at me or something). I'm too nice for the defensive tactics class. I have a tendency to say...get down on the ground please. Sounds tough right? No, so I'm trying to drop my manners with the bad guys. It has been fun throwing people on the ground though. I guess I'm mentally at a place where they can make me or break me. I'm standing my ground though b/c I realize this is all mental. They want to weed out the weak. Fuck them, I'm not going anywhere.

Hope you all are doing well. I miss you all! Hugs and hopefully you all don't forget about me!

irony

I find it ironic that I'm eating doritos as I type this out. When will I learn? 1.5 hours at the gym today so I can eat doritos? I'm a dumbass.

Can't type long, I'm just trying to get some work done today, I'm lucky to even have internet here, but I had to put a picture on here so you could all see a dead cockroach, or the position I will hold for 2 hours give or take along with the push up position on Wednesday. Fun huh? The great part is, the cockroaches are the more relaxing position of all that we do. Guess that is why I decided to do this, push and challenge myself. It isn't so bad, it will get better, it always does! Now I just need to put the damn doritos down. But I'm not going to, not today, it's 150 calories of amazing goodness that I will sweat off tomorrow. Miss you all tons!

1 down, 22 to go

WEEK 1 is over!

It was probably the easiest week we will have. We don't actually start PT until Wednesday. We had a "sample" of what it is going to be like last week though, and all I can say is damn I'm sore. I want them to beat the crap out of me, I guess that is what I'm going to get.

I want to leave tough, I guess that is what I'm going to get. I'm really excited to start learning the defensive tactics too, but also very nervous. I'm a very non-confrontational person. Beating other people up? I've never even been in a fight. Ekkks.

Anyway, I know everyone is dying to know how the first week went, so I just wanted to write a quick note, I'm going to try and stop by a few of your blogs, but it is just a super busy time, maybe Monday I'll have Internet access for a while longer? I'm dying to know if Shanna has moved yet, how Sara's play is going, if FB got her job, if Andrea is still Zumbaing, if Thinking Too Thin is still giddy with A...all sorts of stuff I need to check in on...btw, if you didn't see your name, it doesn't mean I'm not excited about some of your stuff still...if tony likes isu yet, if the other tony is in onerderland yet, if mizfit decided to give me any cool prizes, wait, I guess you have to comment to get on that list, if PQ is still having a headache...ahhh, I read too many damn blogs!

Later folks. I'll do an extra pushup or dead cockroach for you all!

Chance to check in

Hooray, I really wanted to say hello to every. HI

Today is my last day of work. I have been training the new girl all week, so it has been hard to get on the internet, geesh. Anyway, she had a meeting today, so I'm on my own for my last day. I really do have a lot to get done, but this was feeling like top priority for me.

I have been completely out of whack with my calories this week. It has been a week of big meals. Tuesday I had my last transportation meeting, and we had a huge meal. Wednesday I was on the road for my last Solid Waste meeting, and so we ate out all three meals, it was such a long day. Yesterday I just continued to suck it up, and today I have a going away party, with dessert in my honor. I'm not making excuses for my calories being out of whack, that was ALL MY CHOICE. I am just ready for Monday. I think my nerves are starting to get the best of me. I'm excited, but nervous about the whole unemployment thing.

I also haven't been to the gym since Monday. I will be spending time there for the next three days for sure! Well, I cannot remember EVERYTHING I really wanted to talk about, so I'm going to get off of here. Hope to check in soon. I sure do miss being on everyday! Have a great weekend everyone.

Will I be here?

I'm training this week, so it isn't exactly easy to check in here in blogger's paradise. I miss you all already!

I'm Back

I can feel how much better I feel now that December is over. I feel like myself again. So, in association with the new year, I'm officially going to start weighing in during morning hours. This is a huge change for me, and one I've really resisted, but it seems only logical since I've changed my gym habits to morning time (for now at least). So today I was at 194 (probably 196 night time scale, but hey, I'm not freaking or worrying about it). I need to weigh in daily for my own sanity, and this is the best way for me to be consistent.

194 is a nice round number to start at for me. It is my 45 lb mark. So, 5 more to get back to my first goal. I weighed in for the New Year's Challenge at my gym this morning, so that is my starting weight for that. The top prize is a six month membership to the gym, and now that I'm a poor college student again, I need that prize. It would be awarded right after mine expires (literally a couple days), so how perfect is that...it gives me something to focus on when I think I need a cookie after dinner. Other prizes include iPods, free PT, free massages, etc.

I'm holding my hopes high on the 6 month membership. It feels good to be back on plan. Even my PT this morning said she feels like she was working with the old me. I have not been as into it the last month, but this morning, she experimented with me when we were boxing (my fav workout), and I had a blast. I feel great again. 2009 is going to rock!